Monday, Monday

It's been a rough one.

It started with a rough Sunday evening fighting an ornery quilt that just didn't want to be quilted. It was so bad, the words "I am done with quilting. I don't like it anymore. I quit." actually came out of my mouth...along with some other words that don't really need to be repeated.

Then I went to bed late.

Then I dreamt about quilting those daggone flowers on that quilt.

Then I woke up.

Then it rained...and Shelby got freaked out which meant I really didn't get much sleep...

Until the alarm went off. (Why is that? How is it you can toss and turn all night long, then when the alarm goes off and you hit the snooze button you immediately fall into a deep sleep and it takes a force of nature to wake you up again?)

Then, of course, I overslept..which meant no gym.

I go to work.

Monday.

Monday means meetings from 8:30 on...except today when we have to be on the road at 9:00.

In the morning meeting my boss disappoints me by trying to bail on a commitment he made to me. I don't stand down (and neither does my co-worker who was almost recruited to fulfill the commitment).

This begins a chain reaction of resignation, misinterpreted facial expressions, guilt, and patronization that just irks me. (Not really saying much here. I am, after all, easily irked.)

Then off to the next meeting...which is uneventful.

Then another conference call...where all three of us are on cell phones and one of the guys (the boss already in the dog house) is using a hands-free set that only registers every third or fourth word.

This drives me insane...on this day...it's a short trip.

To end the day, there's a lovely email from a small town manager who is not impressed with my efforts to get his grant paperwork done.

Well, frankly, I don't blame him. I wouldn't be impressed either. I can only juggle 15 balls at a time. His is #16 (behind 13 federal stimulus projects I have going to construction right now plus trying to keep my two business development partners somewhere close to appeased).

But I hate being criticized...especially when I know I'm doing a crappy job of something.

So seeing the email he sent to one of my partners about how he is not impressed pretty much sealed the deal on my Monday.

I go home, curl into a fetal position and whine for a bit.

When I walked into Karen's house tonight for bee, I felt like I was immersed in a black cloud.

I was weary.

It was written all over me.

Mrs. G was concerned. (Actually, she thought she was in my chair because of the look on my face. It was dark and foreboding.)

Two and a half hours later, I had laughed enough to lift the cloud.

THE POINT

All the darkness and disappointment that was my Monday was just part of what I had to do.

It is not who I am.

It's just stuff.

It's just a Monday.

I need to remember that who I am has nothing to do with grant writing or construction projects or meetings or other pouty, unimpressed people...

I just need to remember laughing with my friends.

It'll be all right.

After all...tomorrow is another day...fiddle dee dee.